I was married for 21 years and I would go to church every Sunday with my husband. When my Dad died of lung cancer in 2007 my world as I knew it came undone!! Once my Dad was gone I felt like my anchor had been pulled up and my boat was set sailing into what turned out to be troubled waters. I ended up getting divorced. What a shock to my family first and then myself. It was if I just stopped living and began this spiraling downward destructive coarse in my life!! My Dad was gone and I couldn't see straight or make great choices once I was on my own. I was like the woman at the well with different men what I called relationships but really it wasn't, far from that!! I was looking for someone to make me feel whole again because after losing your anchor (my Dad) life just isn't the same its like a hole in my soul I felt for so long!! Then I met this man who I thought was my soul mate for life but he was far from what I had grown up with!! He took me on great trips around the world I learned to snow ski, hike for hours on end, kayak and drive cross country on my own once a month. After 2 years the relationship came to an abrupt end I had been in the hospital for an anxiety attack and realized this man was not ever going to marry me, it wasn't in his nature.
I sat at my kitchen table crying, trying to figure out exactly who I was because I couldn't recognize myself at all!! Once I got over the initial hurt that seemed to be deep and the scare of the anxiety attack, I thought I was dying. I prayed really hard and I apologized to the Lord for my sheer selfishness. I asked for his forgiveness so I would never go back and I could move on to what I knew was the only way to be with The Lord!!
I started going to a local church (very small in nature) and they let me lead the music every Sunday. I became their Treasurer and occasionally I would get the question "Is there any chance of your marriage working again?" I would get upset because I had tried to leave the divorce behind me and move along but I still received questions along the way.
I am so much farther along from that dark place in my life with the help of The Lord!! I am still working everyday to know not to put my trust in people for they will always let you down but I can only depend on The One The Lord!! I now make sure that the Lord is involved in every decision I make and I asked a long time ago for forgiveness for being so selfish that I lost my marriage!! But I believe that we have got to go through the storms in life to be able to be someone who can help someone else!!! We are all in this together and we are given so much.
To finish I am in a relationship now for the past 4 years We pray together I talk about the Lord everyday and I put the Lord first and then everyone else!!! I am free no more chains bind me! - Debbie J. Ritchey